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March 13, 2008 | 12:00 a.m. CST
This year, Vox tore a page out of four films’ travel guides to satisfy your wanderlust in a way that would make the Warner Bros. smile. To complete your Voxcation, we’ve outlined the average cost of each trip, using the present-day price of whatever transportation was used in the film. When the character took a plane, we averaged the price of the flight taken during spring break week from three of the most popular travel Web sites (travelocity.com, expedia.com and orbitz.com).
Title: North by Northwest
Travel Trajectory: New York, N.Y.--> Chicago, Ill. --> Rapid City, S.D.
Description: This Hitchcock thriller follows advertising man Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant), who gets mixed up in an unfolding CIA operation when foreign spies mistake him for agent George Kaplan. Climactic fight atop Mount Rushmore optional (and completely illegal).
Total Travel Cost: $267
Advice: To tell whether the blond bombshell is into you, take some advice from How to Date in a Post-Dating World by Diane Mapes: Watch her body language. If her body is turned toward yours and she’s playing with her hair or shrugging her shoulders, she’s into you. If her back is turned, you can forget it.
Title: The Bourne Ultimatum
Travel Trajectory: Moscow, Russia --> Paris, France --> London, England --> Madrid, Spain --> Tangier, Morocco --> New York, N.Y.
Description: In this consummation of the Bourne trilogy, the amnesia-stricken yet combat-proficient main character seeks to uncover his past as a CIA operative for a top-secret project. Follow Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) as he repeatedly dupes the CIA and leaves a trail of bewildered agents in his wake.
Total Travel Cost: $2,365 (not counting fake passports and cups of coffee)
Advice: If you’re being followed, walking.about.com suggests taking sharp turns to lose your tailer. If in a car, pull a U-turn. You might also consider screaming at your followers to scare them off — though it does kill the romance of it all.
Title: The Holiday
Travel Trajectory: Surrey, England --> Los Angeles, Calif. / Los Angeles, Calif. --> Surrey, England
Description: Two heartsick women across the world from one another swap houses for two weeks over Christmas. Once safely on vacation, both find love where they’d least expect it. Of course, it helps that they’ve found houses where Jude Law and Jack Black just happen to hang out.
Total Travel Cost: Starting in Surrey: $1380 (quaint Surrey cottage not included). Starting in L.A.: $937 (fabulous L.A. mansion not included).
Advice: At Vox, we know that mi casa might not necessarily mean su casa. So if you feel a need to hide the family jewels from sight, senior Tiger Security Services senior sales consultant David Smith says that hiding valuables in unexpected places can keep your curious caller from “accidentally” making off with your Playstation games. Try the jar on your kitchen shelf or downstairs in storage — anywhere but in the bedroom.
Title: The Darjeeling Limited
Travel Trajectory: Paris, France --> India
Description: Three brothers meet up on a luxury train in India seeking to reconnect with each other and themselves. Feel the zen as you follow them in a seemingly random trip across India where the brothers try everything — questionable Indian painkillers, meditation and mace — to find their inner peace.
Total Travel Cost: $3,487 for the plane ticket and cross-country train ride. But if you want to hang out with Natalie Portman at Hotel Chevalier (a.k.a. Hotel Raphael), it will cost you an extra $16,480, plus the cost of your grilled cheese sandwiches and Bloody Marys.
Advice: We know the adorable but slightly lethal snake in the holy wooden box is tempting. To stop the critter from biting the bejesus out of you, the best thing to do is buy a box without the gaping holes in it. But if you must, Dr. Jason Zerrer advises wearing tall boots to avoid being bitten in the feet. If bitten, dab peroxide on the wound, and hit the emergency room. Do not suck the poison out of the wound — as fun as it sounds, it does little to extricate the poison from your body.