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April 24, 2014 | 12:00 a.m. CST
He had his head tucked so far down that every word he spoke into the phone nearly resulted in a subsequent mouthful of his coat collar. “Well, her friend Jess told me that Flat Branch is her favorite, and she really likes some kind of flower called a Gerbes daisy or something — oh, yeah a Gerber daisy,” he says. “It’s not like I would know, mom. I’ve never even bought flowers really. OK yeah, for you, but this is different. It’s a first date.”
The two glossy-haired, too-tan-for-this-time-of-year girls were a little more conspicuous. Wrapped up in North Face quarter-zips and riding boots that most likely had never set foot in a stirrup, the girls bursted into laughter. “Downtown gets ratchet after bars. Seriously, that girl grrrrinding on a cop last week!” (Insert hiccup-esque laughter). “Why would you ever think that would get you anywhere?” (Now giggles). “I tweeted it, and I hope whoever that that girl was sees it.” (The giggles take a maniacal turn).